My name is Barack Osama Hussein Obama, 44th President of the United States, and I am here today to acknowledge my many abominations.
For you who have given me your support, I ought to apologize for the remarks that follow. I know a lot of you have been offended by the extreme criticism aimed at me in recent months--the claims heard on Fox News, the attacks on talk radio, the never-ending right-wing slurs. But I'm here today to come clean, and regardless of any disappointments my followers may feel, I'm going to come out with the truth. I'm here today to admit that, yes, the Fox News critics have more or less understood me. In fact they've described me almost to a tee.
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